What to Talk about in Therapy Sessions?

For many people who have wanted to benefit from counseling / psychotherapy, not knowing to where to start or what to talk about is one of many concerns.

Over the past few years, I have come across such a question countless times with even patients who had seen me for a while.

They were either worried that they didn’t provide relevant or adequate information for us to work on together or feared judgment or rejection from the therapist if volunteering the “wrong” information.

Thus a lot of them chosen to be “directed” to kick start the session. If you have been to therapy, this probably sounds very similar.

Given their consideration, I usually invited them to give themselves permission to talk about “anything that pops into their mind” and leave their hesitation and worry out of the room.

The result? ALL patients ended up catching themselves “on the topic” by the end of session. Important and urgent matters came up naturally. What’s more important, they always shed light on something deeper to explore.

It never failed. Not even one single case.  

Why?

Due to my clinical training and background, I have strong belief in human potential for positive self-direction that leads to self-actualization. (For those who are interested in reading more, please click here for humanism and existentialism)

Simply put, we human beings have an innate need for growth in all areas to life to strive for becoming who we identified with.

This holds true in all of us. Luckily, we all have this yearning for genuine progress in various areas of life. Still remember the pain when we “feel trapped” and realize that we may not be able to become someone we want to be? How about the joy when you finally have that I-Made-It moment?

Second, our subconscious mind carries way more information than the conscious mind. It is the seat of our feelings, emotions and even patterns. When given permission in a non-judgmental environment, people tend to be amazed by this non-directive approach as to how much valuable but seemingly previously forgotten information was revealed.

I have seen case after case that the more clinical information available, the easier we draw connection between current struggles and previous psycho-social conditioning.

Therefore, with sophisticated skills to facilitate emotional clearance and solid clinical training of your therapist, some deeply seated disturbing issues can be uprooted.

What does it feel like?

Please allow me to borrow my clients’ comments---

“Christine, it feels like something heavy was lifted off my chest/shoulder”.

“I feel light.”

“Finally I feel like I can breathe.”

Or simply a smile with relaxation……

Third, anything, however major or minor in your eyes, can be of clinical importance in your therapist’s ears. Never underestimate any bit of it. A well-trained therapist knows not only how to listen to you but also what to attend to.

Last but not the least, a highly skilled and competent clinician will be comfortable with listening to your feelings and thoughts toward him/her and session work and even encourage you to use that materials (called “transference”) to enrich the counseling sessions.

For example, who did he/she remind you of in your life? How did he/she come across due to certain words/movements? What is it in the session that triggered certain reaction inside of you? etc. Further exploration of these topics helps bring to your attention some patterns that may otherwise remain hidden.

So, next time, are you ready to share “whatever pops into your mind”?

(For those who had gone through this situation, please feel free to share your experience with us. Thanks!)